27 Years, 11 Months, 29 Days — Who Am I?

I’ll turn a year older tomorrow and yes this calls for an obligatory birthday post.

So, my earth life could be sum up into 27 years, 11 months and 29 days all in all. Still, this question lingers — WHO AM I?

Who am I?

I was 7 years old when I first read a book from cover to cover and that book is “The Sum of All Fears” by Tom Clancy. I won’t probably understand what I was reading that time, all I know is it was fun going through the pages and read every dialogues with emotions. Thanks to Google, now I am fully aware what the book is all about.

I had my first crush when I was 8 years old. He was my childhood friend. When I caught him writing my name in one of his notebooks — I don’t know how to react but I’m sure I blushed.

I had my puppy love when I was 15 years old. He was my not-so-geek seatmate during my second year high school. He’s a total genius — the reason why I fell in love with him. Our relationship lasted for 4 years.

I had my first serious boyfriend when I turned 19. Just when I thought that love conquers all everything went down into ashes. And then I became a mother, thanks to him.

At 21, I started rearing a child. In between those years are supposed to be my freedom. But it turned out to be the opposite of my plans. Knowing that it’s all my fault, I tried to close my eyes from regrets and learned to move along and fulfill motherhood duties even if I know I wasn’t born for that kind of responsibilities.

At 23, I started going out from my comfort zone. I explored my capabilities and potential as a human being. I deployed my skills sets in two different worlds — corporate and community development. However, it is from the latter’s experience that I gained so much wisdom.

At 24, I fell in love again. And yes, by this time I was guided by my decision from the past (which somehow did not turned out okay). I learned that love is not all about emotions but decisions. It’s full of what if’s, why not’s, how about’s and “we can do this, no matter what!”

At 27, I refused a career growth from the BEST job in the world. Instead, I chose to comeback to the loving arms of the person I carried in my womb for 9 months. At this point, I realized that I need my son as much as he needed me. Sound clingy but that’s true.

At 28, well I’m looking forward to become a full time housewife as I am getting married come 2017. As the cliche said “the best is yet to come”, I say “the best is all I have now”.

At 29, I don’t know! I really don’t. All I know is “I’ll only become what I’m becoming right now” and the pattern continues as long as I live.

At 30, probably I’m still alive and catching for keywords and article hits.

XoXo

XIEN =)

 

 

 

Right or Wrong Decision?

In a battle between motherhood vs career:

Scenario — declined the MEAL officer post from one of the most prestigious INGO in the world in exchange for motherhood parenthood role… right or wrong decision?

Yes, it’s a crossroad and I chose parenthood above all. I chose my kid, I chose the luxury of time I’m going to have with him to make up for all those moments of being fa away, I chose to raise him and I also chose to give up on the things that I wanted to do.

I’m not quite sure how I’m going to deal with my emotions from refusing to take in the chance to be better at something I love in the field of community development.

I’m not quite sure also where this parenthood journey would take me.

But these I am sure of:

I want the best for my child during his formative years.

I want to share to him the lessons I learned from life.

I want to make him feel that regardless of being in a situation he never chose, I chose him and that he may also choose to become a better person.

I want to be his guiding post whenever he felt like being lost.

I want to be the light in his darkest moments.

I want to be with him all the days of my life even if it means loosing everything I wanted for myself.

I wanted to secure his future but not in the expense of treasured moments with him.

These and a lot more reasons for refusing a career growth.

 

Death by Pokemon Go is Imminent when Players Meet Accidents Just to Catch ‘em All

As the Pokemon Go craze continues many players were reported being involved in accidents. There’s tripping, falling and getting sun burned skins while looking out for virtual creatures. The day after the release of Pokemon Go, the social media was sparked with different reactions and experiences including accidents from the app users.

Players who were less cautious were the ones who often met an accident just like what happened to a driver in upstate New York who reportedly crashed his car on a tree while playing. Steven Cary, a former marine, was trying to catch Lapras, a blue sea creature before the accident. “Injured and extremely tired right now”, said Cary’s mother.

A commenter in a Reddit thread lamented that he ended at ER after the release of the game. He said, “Not even 30 minutes after the release last night, I slipped and fell down a ditch. Fractured the fifth metatarsal bone in my foot 6-8 weeks for recovery. I told all the doctors I was walking my dog lol…Watch we’re you’re going folks!”.

The reported accidents fueled the public safety fears. The police authority warns the public regarding their safety and security while being hooked with the game. Pokemon Go opens the door for crimes as the Lake Country Sheriff’s Office reminds, “Understand that as you walk you sharing your location information via GPS and you can easily become the victim of crime.” They added, “Just be aware about what you post, and what you allow people to know.”

However, despite all the brouhaha, Pokemon Go has become more popular with millions of downloads everyday. According to digital market intelligence, the game has overtaken Google, Netflix and Twitter and is almost as popular as Snapchat and WhatsApp as announced by SimilarWeb.

Be Your Own Hero

Just because the genuine love you received from other people has been the guiding post towards your journey through life, never ever adhere to the idea that it can save you from yourself. Only you had the power to conquer that inner giant, put off that inner voice and release that big yaaaawwwwp! You must learn the art of self-reliance. Fight for yourself, raise the flag. Be your own hero.

Flipped

There’s a lot of insecurities and confusions when I decided to go home and gave up my career in the community development sector. Just like a coin, my life flipped and I’m currently in the different side of it. I’m now playing the role of a full-time mother (which I am excited to blog about later on when I have all the time in the world).

Yours,

Xien

 

 

I Must Learn To Keep Silent

With all the on-going discussions about the upcoming election…truth and lies of the candidates, black propaganda (I have my own biases, forgive me) and other forms of vilification…just a reminder to myself… I must learn to keep silent.

“Not speaking and speaking are both human ways of being in the world, and there are kinds and grades of each. There is the dumb silence of slumber or apathy; the sober silence that goes with a solemn animal face; the fertile silence of awareness, pasturing the soul, whence emerge new thoughts; the alive silence of alert perception, ready to say, “This… this…”; the musical silence that accompanies absorbed activity; the silence of listening to another speak, catching the drift and helping him be clear; the noisy silence of resentment and self-recrimination, loud and subvocal speech but sullen to say it; baffled silence; the silence of peaceful accord with other persons or communion with the cosmos.” – Paul Goodman, Nine Kinds of Silence

Death Before the Dawn

I remember writing about his impeachment trial last four years ago. True, I was young and naive then and unable to openly discuss about politics…I have only limited knowledge about the Aquino’s administration… But you know what’s funny? While it’s true that I lacked the political knowledge years ago…this remains true…for the last four years, I have never put away my single trust to this administration who did nothing but persecute the poor to the hilt.

It’s a sad reality, that the former Justice Secretary Renato Corona with his body lying six feet below the ground will not be there to witness the fall of this administration who put him in the coffin through their “selective” brand of justice.

According to a journalist, his death is symbolic…

For the meantime, I’ll wait for that moment…the crowning of these men from the south and north where I could hear the weepings of the rich and powerful…and so their die hard supporters…even so the hypocrites of this country.